Actually this isn't really a Blog, It is My Thoughts
January 29, 2008... I've been searching for "the truth" for 40 + years. I've been meditating and other things for most of that time also. Mainly all I find is people who want to make more and more money.
I'm tired of being taken advantage of. Yesterday I had a really bad experience with someone.
I'm a "nice" person, sometimes too nice. Sometimes I wonder if I have an invisible tattoo on my forehead that says "take advantage of me" that only certain people can see.
All I want in life is to make enough money to be comfortable, to get a massage or some type of healing when I want and/or need it. I've tried everything, just about. I wish I knew how to change my karma or whatever it is. I just lost my favorite job in November and other stuff. Actually, I'm hoping to get that job back.
I don't want money just for myself, I want it so I can also give it to other's who need it. Like a couple of my sisters and some friends.
The other day I discovered that my niece is working for what could be called a loan shark. They loan people money and then charge them over 300% APR. My gosh! She makes over $40 per hour, probably more like $50 per hour! My other niece works at a place that makes those night vision glasses for warfare. I just wonder what this world is coming to and if things are really improving, as some people say. I've watched "The Secret" and lots of other types of movies and read lots of books. Right now I wouldn't mind getting some of all that money floating around out there.
But then I get annoyed sometimes. I guess today is one of those days.
I just want that tattoo removed. :-)
Actually, I wouldn't mind having a WHOLE LOT of money!!
There are SO MANY things I want to do with my life! You know???!!??
December 29, 2007... I lost my favorite job in December. Actually I hadn't worked at that job since Nov 1. I loved that job. I know this isn't a metaphysical thought, but I feel disappointed and sad. As far as metaphysics are concerned, I've been reading some books. I feel really good while I'm reading metaphysical books or watching these types of movies, but then I have to go back to my life. .... And it's not always happy and joyous. What should I do!?! I still have some great clients and I should be happy, but I'm not all the time.
January 16, 2007... It's been a while. I have been doing other techniques besides TM. I occasionally "do" TM also. I find that just living life to the fullest is the best way to go. I still read many books and watch movies about metaphysical stuff. The last movie we watched was "The Secret," and I own the book. Life is good and I just keep on keeping on. I am still busy attending college part-time. Soon I have to make a decision as to whether to continue my studies or get a "real" job. This new year is full of happiness and hopes and dreams for fullfillment of harmony and peace for myself and the world. That's all I have to say.
May 19, 2006... I had a great birthday. I got straight A's again this semester, but the spiritual side of my life is still not quite what it used to be. I know people who "see" other dimensions and stuff like that; as mentioned below, I don't "see" anything. How can I believe that these people are for real and that it's not all a big joke?
I went to a Beltane Celebration a couple of weeks ago. It was fine, but it was just like a nice party slash potluck gathering with nice people, that's all. I didn't experience anything out of the ordinary. Nothing. Nada. I enjoy my life, don't get me wrong. But I meditated for many, many years and did A LOT of New Age type stuff. I always thought there was more to life than having material things. Is there?
I've basically quit all the Metaphysical, New Age stuff in my life. Anyone want to write to tell me that I should keep searching? The man I had been learning from is a smoker and can't control his undesirable urges. Well, I can't go to his classes any more because my lungs are not happy. Well, I talked about this below on March 15. What should I do? I am not going to learn from him any more, that's for sure. I don't think I can learn any more from a person like that. Maybe I'll get a boost again one of these days in that area of my life. Maybe it's a lost cause for us here in the "Material World". I've learned a lot throughout my life. But, was it of any use? That is the question. I don't make much money, I don't even have health or life insurance! I don't make enough money to afford to pay for health or life insurance. I'm now 55 years old. What have I done with my life? How much longer will I have to live this life? And what will it be like when it's over? Will I be happy in the here-after about what I have done in the here?
March 30, 2006... I've basically quit just about everything in the way of spirituality for a while. Perhaps I'll start up again in the spring. I need a break.
March 15, 2006... I quit my Celtic Shamanism classes not that long ago. The man who "teaches" the classes is a chain smoker and has a yappy dog that yaps loudly whenever anyone comes or leaves. My lungs and my ears are more precious to me than being in that class. I also recently bought some ting-shas and a crystal ball. I'm just finding a new and different path in my life now.
February 9, 2006... I've always thought that I couldn't really live my life without some link to spirituality in it. I've felt that I would be even more depressed than I am without some form of spirituality in my life. I feel that I am different than "normal" people. I don't want the fancy car or the fancy clothes and all that. I want more... I know there is more to life than those physical things. I wish I could see more of the "other realms" with my physical eyes. I wish I could remember more clearly my past lives and more importantly I wish I could remember what happens between lives.
But..... Is all that real? Or not? But then I've known people who see "other realms". When I'm with a group practicing meditation or other forms of spirituality I feel all happy and that it's all real and all that, but then here I am just finished my Linguistics class in the real world. I certainly can't talk about the stuff I do in a spiritual group with hardly anyone else in my life. I day-dreamed a lot in my youth. Some of the spiritual experiences seem like the day-dreaming I did in my youth. What's the difference between that and spiritual work? Like meditation, trance work, journeying and all that.
I have a hard time journeying or meditation by myself sometimes. It's difficult for me without the group present. It's not as deep.
BUT THEN we (the group(s) I am a part of) may be helping people here on this plane of existance and on/in other worlds with our healing/meditation work. And maybe when we are no longer in this plane of existence we will be happy that we were more connected to other realms. Does it just come down to faith?
The psychic I have mentioned elsewhere, Rob Robb, is really cool. When he was born all he saw was light when he looked at people. He was about 8 before he saw the solid form. Plus he can see his guides and angels with his physical eyes all the time. He makes one joke that he never feels alone and never has privacy even in the bathroom. I don't think he is "making it all up". I do believe what he sees is real. When he talks in front of a group of people he can see everyone's guides and angels. I have a friend who can hear the house plants screaming for water. And a woman that I work for can hear that also. She's amazed that most people can't hear that. Rob Robb said he hears the grass screaming when he's at a hotel or something and someone is cutting the grass. Maybe I don't want to hear/see everything. If and when I do start hearing/seeing things: #1 I don't want to be confused; #2 I want to be selective.
Quite some time ago I had either a dream or a daydream where I saw myself looking down from a distance upon this lovely green and blue planet thinking that I could do it again. I suppose when we die we think, "What a ride!" And then come back again. It is just a ride. It's like a blink of an eye in the infinity of all time and space. This tiny planet where we exist for a time in these bodies that are so restrictive. Sometimes I wish I could leave. Especially after one of those journeys or meditations that I have where I go "way out there". And I DO go "way out there". Sometimes at those times, I don't want to come back. Then I do come back and have to live my life as best as I can.
I also know a woman named B.J. King who is also a psychic but she's more into E.T.'s and she feels she was an E.T. in another life and she feels she speaks with E.T.'s and travels with them at night. Who knows what's true or not? Maybe where we are now is the un-truth.
My big questions are, is it real and how do I integrate my wonderful meditative experiences in to every day life? Anyone out there got an answer?
|
