Bumper Stickers



17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an a*#hole.

16. Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

15. The proctologist called...they found your head.

14. Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

13. Save your breath.. You'll need it to blow up your date.

12. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

11. I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

10. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

9. Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

8. Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me."

7. Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

6. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

5. If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

4. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3. Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

2. Hang up and drive!!

1. Welcome to America...now speak English!!! (I'm not so sure I like this one.)


New Bumper Crop...

Let out some snickers for these cute bumper stickers!

I have the body of a god, unfortunately, it's Buddha

Damn right I'm good in bed, I can sleep for days

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

I said "NO" to drugs, but they didn't listen.

Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Keep honking while I reload.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that.

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!




* If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

* You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

* The Earth Is Full - Go Home

* This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

* Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

* If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

* The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

* Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

* Honk If Anything Falls Off

* Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes

* He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

* I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

* You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

* I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

* It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

* I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

* If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over..[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

* Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

* If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

* Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

* Boldly Going Nowhere

* Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

* Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Received from Paul Calvert.


From The Good, Clean Funnies List http://www.gcfl.net
Good, clean funnies five times a week, FOR FREE!


More Bumper Stickers

* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.

* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

* All men are idiots, and I married their King.

* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

* Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

* Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.

* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.

* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Added 14 July 2000, more additions July 29, 2003

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